HPD - Nope

Great news, America!

Your favorite Blogger was told yesterday that he is not "histrionic". And as I have previously stated, I am not diagnosed with depression either.

That's right. My gloomy, dark, sadness comes from without, not from within. Gosh. That's encouraging. I've been told by those who have studied these disorders and who've also studied the living shit out of yours truly that my problem has many sources. None having to do with a chemical imbalance AKA "Crazy". My problem is with my inability to cope, the fact that I am a misfit and social retard. Glad that's all it is.

Also, with the exception of one incident, I have dealt with rejection in a healthy way. That incident was a long, drawnout chapter in the Book of GR. The unhealthy part there was how long I clung to a dying friendship. It was a pretty sad situation, and what bothers me most is that my social retardation is to blame. Makes it hard not to be angry with myself because I really valued that friendship.

I was told that I should not focus on a gloomy future, but on the now. "Focus on the now," said the doc. I almost died holding in the laughter.

Focusing on the present doesn't fix shit. It doesn't help a goddamn bit. The now is as fucked up as the then. Some things cannot be changed.