Fortunate SOB

Thanks to my great-Aun't's will, people have found a new reason to hate me.

Cousins who have never liked me now want me to invest in their businesses. Sorry, guys. You were never nice to me, so suck it.

Cousins Chrissy, Tom and Bill have always been nice. Chrissy's restaurant is very successful. Tom , Bill and Larry have paid back and didn't fuck the money off like David and Steve. Pixie boeeowed, paid back and is doing great. The three who didn't pay me back all want more. Lots more.

Too bad.

Got mom a new Toyota Yaris. Got my little sis a Nissan Sentra. Sis is pating back, but mom doesn't have to.

For the first time in my life I've given money to a church. The nuns at St Christopher are hopefully buying food for the local poor.

Off MediCal now. Feel I should volunteer at the county hospital out of gratitude for the years of care I'vr received there. They saved and restored some sight in one eye and I'd most likely have died without them. Good thing nobody reads this shit or the hospital would be getting hate mail.

I think I've made amends with those who allowed. I hope my disappearance from the lives of the others is an acceptable pay back. I doubt it though. No. I don't doubt that it isn't. I know it isn't and that they prefer it this way.

So it goes.

Saw Bucket List a few years ago and thought I'd make my own "things to do" list.

Things I've done:

Scaled Mt. Whitney
Parachuted
Buhgy jumped
visited New York

Things still to do:
visit Ireland
visit Germany

I can do these things, but I cannot finish the list. The one thing I want most is the one thing I will never have. I could buy it, but I won't. Rhis keeps me awake at nights. It brings me shame, humiliation and tears. Lots of tears.

I don't believe in a god, but if there is one I refuse to worship it. It's better to not believe than hate...

But if you are listening, Gourd, hear this loudly:

Fuck you!!!
Hey, one more off the bucket list!