I have a friend I walk to the bus stop with on my way home. I stop at the KFC where he works and sometimes get myself a pop or ice tea. He likes to rub in the fact that he gets his drink free. He also jokes that he's the only African American who cannot stand fried chicken.
They had the doors propped open today because a customer who hadn't eaten yet puked all over the floor. Evidently the guy was drunk and jumped in his car and sped off when the manager came out in a fit. Since the doors were open, I thought i'd bet my friend $5 that I could jump up and kick the top of the door entrance. He said that if his 6' tall frame couldn't do it, my 5'8" ass couldn't.
I stood two feet from the entrance, backed up three steps, then took three steps toward the door, jumped from my right foot and kicked the top of the frame with my right foot when I was at my highest point.
I told him, "Today, I get my drink free."
I got off the bus a couple miles further from home than usual so I could check out an old pet supply store in a mini mall, and found that the friggin store has been closed for three years. Shit! So I broke in my new shoes on a three and a half mile stroll home in 93 degree weather. Headed straight for the shower to find that the city had cut off the water to repair something somewhere. They've been doing that off and on the last couple weeks. Luckily I had a stash of drinking water and used three bottles taking a bird bath in the sink.
Water came on at 9 pm, so I had my shower and drank a cup of Sleepy Time tea with an almond cookie.
Just another boring day. Maybe someday I'll get lucky and be hit by a truck.
Nah, I'm not that lucky.
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2 comments:
Ahh. . . but you got a terrific chance to rip the crotch of your pants and a free drink to boot. I'd call that a step toward the day of dreams. And, you didn't have to sleep with anyone else's wife to get the satisfaction either. Maybe tomorrow.
Now you made it all sound bad. Evolutionist!
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