Send In The Clowns

Seriously, people. Where are thr fucking VWs full of fucking clowns!?!

We've had Palin, Fey, Letterman, Palin, Bobby Jindal, Rick Perry, Ensign, Sanford, and Palin. Again!

There ought to be clowns!

Fist Full of Dollars

I have a friend I walk to the bus stop with on my way home. I stop at the KFC where he works and sometimes get myself a pop or ice tea. He likes to rub in the fact that he gets his drink free. He also jokes that he's the only African American who cannot stand fried chicken.

They had the doors propped open today because a customer who hadn't eaten yet puked all over the floor. Evidently the guy was drunk and jumped in his car and sped off when the manager came out in a fit. Since the doors were open, I thought i'd bet my friend $5 that I could jump up and kick the top of the door entrance. He said that if his 6' tall frame couldn't do it, my 5'8" ass couldn't.

I stood two feet from the entrance, backed up three steps, then took three steps toward the door, jumped from my right foot and kicked the top of the frame with my right foot when I was at my highest point.

I told him, "Today, I get my drink free."

I got off the bus a couple miles further from home than usual so I could check out an old pet supply store in a mini mall, and found that the friggin store has been closed for three years. Shit! So I broke in my new shoes on a three and a half mile stroll home in 93 degree weather. Headed straight for the shower to find that the city had cut off the water to repair something somewhere. They've been doing that off and on the last couple weeks. Luckily I had a stash of drinking water and used three bottles taking a bird bath in the sink.

Water came on at 9 pm, so I had my shower and drank a cup of Sleepy Time tea with an almond cookie.

Just another boring day. Maybe someday I'll get lucky and be hit by a truck.

Nah, I'm not that lucky.

Best B day ever

On my birthday my iron level was high enough to give blood platelets.

After unhooking me from the machine I had the mandatory 15 minute wait. Since it was a weekday Snacklady offered me a sandwich. "Would you like a sandwich?"

"Why not?" I said loudly. Then I pushed up my right bicep area with my left index finger and faked a flex, did a little shoulder pose, "I deserve a sammich!"

Some laughed. Some went pffff!

I sat down for my sammy and opted for a water. Then I was told that since it's my sixth donation this year, I get a free T-shirt!

The front of my shirt says:
I DONATED BLOOD. TIMES SIX X6

The back says:
LifeStream
GIVE HOPE | GIVE LIFE | GIVE BLOOD

AND there was a pint for a pint thing this week. I got a coupon for a free pint of Baskin Robbins Ice Cream. ON MY BIRTHDAY! I don't know when I'll use my coupon. I don't know where there's a Baskin Robbin's near me, but I'll find that bitch, get my dessert and be happy with my well deserved ice cream headache. Mmmm. 31 flavors. What to get? What to get?

My brother called on the 30th and asked what I did on my b day. So I told him that I gave blood.

"Really? You can do that?"

"Yeah. I didn't know till I saw a fellow type 1 diabetic at school in line to give blood."

My brother was disappointed that he did not know this for the KLOS Mark and Brian Blood Drive.

So far, I've gotten a trucker hat, a t-shirt, a pint of ice cream, a sandwich, a variety of snacks and a shit load of juice. All for sitting on my ass, watching a DVD of my choice with headphones.

It's not all I ever dreamed of, but it's a very distant second.

I helped somebody who really needs it.